Many of my couples who are getting married in the summer and fall of 2013 have requested handfasting as an alternative to a more traditional wedding.
If you’re not familiar with handfasting – it’s quite literally, “tying the knot.” Though “handfasting” is often used in Pagan circles as the term for the entire wedding ceremony, the handfasting I’m referring to is a unity ritual, often going after the ring vows and before the closing of the ceremony. The couple takes hands (like they’re shaking hands – right into right and left into left), and then their hands are then wrapped with a cord, symbolizing the joining of their lives and hearts. Each wrap represents a step towards complete commitment to each other. At the end, the couple remains there, for a moment, and then the cord is removed before the end of the ceremony. Some couples choose to take vows as their hands are wrapped – this is an option as well.
If you’re not familiar with handfasting – it’s quite literally, “tying the knot.” Though “handfasting” is often used in Pagan circles as the term for the entire wedding ceremony, the handfasting I’m referring to is a unity ritual, often going after the ring vows and before the closing of the ceremony. The couple takes hands (like they’re shaking hands – right into right and left into left), and then their hands are then wrapped with a cord, symbolizing the joining of their lives and hearts. Each wrap represents a step towards complete commitment to each other. At the end, the couple remains there, for a moment, and then the cord is removed before the end of the ceremony. Some couples choose to take vows as their hands are wrapped – this is an option as well.
Something fun many of my couples have done is to choose a handfasting cord that really means something to them – if you’re a fiber artist, you can knit, spin, weave, or crochet your cord – or use something that is relevant to your life – a couple I met with recently mentioned using boating twine as they are getting married at the beach! There are also traditional meanings to the colors of a handfasting cord – so if you want to do multiple colored cords, your officiant can mention what each one means as it is wrapped around your hands. The cords I am using today are made by the Guthries and they can be contacted at drown@shaw.ca
You can also have a friend, family member, or bridal party member wrap the cord around your hands. If you have a smaller bridal party, you could have them all come up and do one wrap, as the officiant speaks. Or your parents could wrap your hands, signifying their support as you enter this next stage in your life.
The roots of the handfasting are in the Celtic countries of Europe – I’ve had couples with Irish backgrounds use handfasting, as it has been the tradition in their families. Many couples who want to incorporate an unusual touch to their wedding have chosen a handfasting as well – not only because it is a lovely ritual, but because it’s a nice way to slip a non-traditional element into the ceremony without scaring the more conservative relatives.
I think it’s a beautiful ritual, one that has a fabulous background, and something to think about when creating your ceremony.
The colours of the handfasting cord signify a variety of different ideals:
Red - will, love, strength, fertility, courage, health, vigor, passion
Orange - encouragement, adaptability, stimulation, attraction, plenty, kindness.
Yellow - attraction, charm, confidence, balance, harmony
Green - fertility, luck, prosperity, nurturing, beauty, health, love
Dark Blue -for a safe journey, longevity & strength
Light Blue - tranquility, understanding, patience, health
Purple - healing, health, strength, power, progress
Black - strength, empowerment, wisdom/vision, success, pure love
White - spiritual purity, truth, peace, serenity and devotion
Gray - balance, neutrality, used in erasing, canceling, neutralizing, and return to the universe without repercussion
Pink - love, unity, honor, truth, romance, happiness
Brown - for healing , skills & talent, nurturing, home & hearth, the earth.
Silver - for creativity, inspiration & vision, and protection.
Gold - for unity, longevity, prosperity, strength.
These are the hands that will hold each child in tender
love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting
and encouraging them along the way, and knowing
when it is time to let go
These are the hands that
will massage tension from your neck and back in the
evenings after you’ve both had a long hard day.
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you
struggle through difficult times
These are the hands that will comfort you when you are
sick, or console you when you are grieving.
They are the hands that will passionately love you and
cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of
happiness.
These are the hands that will hold you in joy and
excitement and hope, each time she tells you that you
are to have another child, that together you have
created a new life.
These are the hands that will
give you support as she encourages you to chase down
your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish
for can be realized.
You can also have a friend, family member, or bridal party member wrap the cord around your hands. If you have a smaller bridal party, you could have them all come up and do one wrap, as the officiant speaks. Or your parents could wrap your hands, signifying their support as you enter this next stage in your life.
The roots of the handfasting are in the Celtic countries of Europe – I’ve had couples with Irish backgrounds use handfasting, as it has been the tradition in their families. Many couples who want to incorporate an unusual touch to their wedding have chosen a handfasting as well – not only because it is a lovely ritual, but because it’s a nice way to slip a non-traditional element into the ceremony without scaring the more conservative relatives.
I think it’s a beautiful ritual, one that has a fabulous background, and something to think about when creating your ceremony.
The colours of the handfasting cord signify a variety of different ideals:
Red - will, love, strength, fertility, courage, health, vigor, passion
Orange - encouragement, adaptability, stimulation, attraction, plenty, kindness.
Yellow - attraction, charm, confidence, balance, harmony
Green - fertility, luck, prosperity, nurturing, beauty, health, love
Dark Blue -for a safe journey, longevity & strength
Light Blue - tranquility, understanding, patience, health
Purple - healing, health, strength, power, progress
Black - strength, empowerment, wisdom/vision, success, pure love
White - spiritual purity, truth, peace, serenity and devotion
Gray - balance, neutrality, used in erasing, canceling, neutralizing, and return to the universe without repercussion
Pink - love, unity, honor, truth, romance, happiness
Brown - for healing , skills & talent, nurturing, home & hearth, the earth.
Silver - for creativity, inspiration & vision, and protection.
Gold - for unity, longevity, prosperity, strength.
These are the hands that will hold each child in tender
love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting
and encouraging them along the way, and knowing
when it is time to let go
These are the hands that
will massage tension from your neck and back in the
evenings after you’ve both had a long hard day.
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you
struggle through difficult times
These are the hands that will comfort you when you are
sick, or console you when you are grieving.
They are the hands that will passionately love you and
cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of
happiness.
These are the hands that will hold you in joy and
excitement and hope, each time she tells you that you
are to have another child, that together you have
created a new life.
These are the hands that will
give you support as she encourages you to chase down
your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish
for can be realized.
